


To Tony

by An_Odd_Idea



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (just for a toast), Angst, Emotional Healing, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Mentions of alcohol, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is also going to be okay, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), past major character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27693710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_Odd_Idea/pseuds/An_Odd_Idea
Summary: The Avengers made a toast to Tony.  Peter doesn’t feel like he got to do it right, and he’d like to try again.  It becomes something even more.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 16
Kudos: 25





	To Tony

**Author's Note:**

> To Roy.
> 
> I didn’t mean to write this, but I did, and I think it’s a good thing. It helps, anyway, and things feel clearer. I thought I’d share.

Peter honestly expected them to let him have the alcohol, whatever it was. Only a bit—they could just put a drop of it in his water or something, and it would be nasty and he wouldn’t even drink the whole thing anyway, but it was just for symbolic purposes. Besides, after everything that had happened, Peter felt like he’d earned a (symbolic) drink and a pass to bend the rules, just a little.

They did not let him have the alcohol.

It wasn’t a big deal. Peter raised his glass of water when all the Avengers and the Guardians raised their glasses of...whatever they had. He wasn’t exactly sure.

“To Tony,” said Steve.

“To Tony,” all the others repeated.

Peter tried to say it with them, but there seemed to be something stuck in his throat, and only his lips moved. He clinked glasses with the people around him, ducking his head so they wouldn’t see the tears that had suddenly sprung up in his eyes again (he’d thought he’d finally gotten all his crying done earlier, but apparently not) and sipped his water while they all sipped whatever it was they had.  
  


...

It wasn’t a big deal.

It wasn’t like toasts really _mattered_ that much, and it certainly wasn’t like Tony would mind. It wasn’t even like Peter minded that much himself, most of the time. Sometimes he felt a weird little twinge when he thought about it, like he hadn’t done it right.

He hadn’t had a drink like everybody else, which didn’t matter, he didn’t need alcohol, but it was _different_ , like everyone had all toasted together except for him. That didn’t make a lot of sense and Peter knew it, but he didn’t like the way it felt when he remembered his glass of water. It was lonely.

Besides that, he hadn’t even really _said it_ with everybody else. His voice had broken before Tony’s name, and then it was already over before he got it back.

Which was fine. Nobody had noticed, and nobody would care about that anyway—he probably hadn’t been the only one.

Tony wouldn’t care. (Tony might care, actually. Peter had concluded he would probably care very much, and he’d want to come back and give him a hug or something. That would be nice.) 

But Peter cared, and he wished he’d done it right, whatever right was.

It had been almost six years, and Peter could usually think about Tony without getting that ache in his chest anymore. It was back now though, because he’d just had a new thought.

He was almost twenty-one. He wasn’t particularly eager to try any certain type of drink, but he did want to have at least one, just because he could, and it felt like that should be special somehow. That was when it had come to him.

If he wanted, he could make a toast all on his own now. He could have the right kind of drink (not that there really was a right kind of drink, but he could feel like everybody else) and maybe he’d be able to make his voice say Tony’s name this time. The second he thought of it he immediately started tearing up, so maybe that wasn’t so likely after all, but if it was just him then he’d have time to wait until he _could_ say it.

Yes, that was what he’d do. When he turned twenty-one, he was going to make a toast to Tony, and he’d do it right this time.

Now that he thought of it, he’d never made a toast to Ben, either. Or his parents. The Parkers’ friends hadn’t made a big toast like that, so he hadn’t thought of it before, but it was only right that he honor them like that, too, now that he could.

That made things a bit more complicated—obviously he couldn’t just say, “To Tony” like he’d planned (and there he went, eyes filling with tears all over again when he thought about it) but he’d think of something good to say. Maybe he’d just think it to himself. Since it was his toast now, he could make the rules.

May might be there, and that made it more complicated, too. (Of course she’d be there; it wasn’t like Peter was going to go drink alone on his birthday.) He’d probably need to say something or it would be awkward, but not something that put him too much at risk of crying because that would also make it awkward. He’d think of something.

But now, _almost_ twenty-one, he could think it all to himself.

_To Tony._

_To all of you._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, lovely friends! 
> 
> Please do not copy or reproduce this work outside this site, I don’t want to get sued.


End file.
